yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my being single is dangerous.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize