I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
