just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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