Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize