i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
