I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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