I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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