I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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