idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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