the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
