covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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