I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
