i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
