farters have to be the big spoon...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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