even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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