fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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