lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
