I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
