Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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