No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My breasts were aching with rage.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
