dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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