OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
