no, he came in my armpit
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
