oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
