I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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