Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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