I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I checked into jail on foursquare
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
