the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
