Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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