Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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