awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
