You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I need a beard to bite.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
