yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
