I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
