whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
