Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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