he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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