theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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