woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
