Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
