dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
