you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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