I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
