just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
