So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
