I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
