Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize