I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
