You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
