he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
