He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
