So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
