Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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