If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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