Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize