Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
