i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm too high and old for this...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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