Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
