the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize